RUGBYsness · Communication for WINNERS

We’ve been evolving from simian ancestors to modern humans for roughly 7 million years (according to some solid theories).
Words, however, only showed up around 50,000 years ago.


So we actually share far more NONVERBAL language with the people we interact with than most of us realize.  Ignoring that reality while obsessing over the “script” we plan to recite makes very little sense.

FIRST IMPACT

“Well begun is half done.”
Or, in practical terms: why it’s so important to trigger effective priming in the perception of our conversation partner from the very first seconds.


A good fragrance matters too (smell is the only sense directly connected to the original reptilian brain… and surprisingly influential in perception!), along with strategic facial expressions and body language whenever we interact face-to-face 😊


If the interaction happens over the phone, the voice becomes everything: Speed, rhythm, average volume, emotional charge, the architecture of sound and silence used for emphasis, intentional vocal highs and lows that energize the message and regulate attention… all of it matters. A lot.

BODY LANGUAGE

The way we occupy physical space is already a message in itself. Depending on posture and gestures —especially arms and hands— we may project confidence, aggression, fear, skepticism, openness, or warmth. And there’s a deeply evolutionary reason for that: for our hominid ancestors, these signals helped detect threats or friendly intent instantly.


The great Ivan Pavlov, building on Heini Hediger’s work on “fight or flight” and related behavioral dynamics, left a profound mark on this field.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Closely tied to emotional transmission —which often leads attitudinal response in others— facial gestures act as immediate triggers in perceptual priming. A genuine smile works like an emotional magnet: it attracts and sustains pleasant attention. A hostile or tense expression, on the other hand, instantly creates distance by activating defensive reactions or expectations of aggression.


Here we strongly value the groundbreaking work of Paul Ekman, along with Flora Davis and others who deeply explored emotional expression and facial communication.

PARALINGUISTICS

Following the foundational research of George Trager, Ray Birdwhistell, John Ohala and many others, we can define paralanguage as: “Everything we communicate through sound beyond words themselves.” 🙂 And especially: its direct impact on perception and the decisions our interlocutor will make afterward.


Dynamic variations in tone, volume and cadence transmit vitality, humanity and emotional presence. A flat, monotonous delivery with mechanically constant rhythm, meanwhile, silently communicates boredom, disengagement, or lack of genuine interest. And this deeply conditions the next dimension:

PROXEMICS

Psychologist Edward Hall’s influential work teaches us that communication also manages psychological distance, not just physical distance. Through gesture, posture, vocal warmth and countless subtle signals, we can deliver exactly the same verbal message in a warmly human way… or in a cold, emotionally distant one.

Long before focusing on textual precision, we should place far greater emphasis on Nonverbal Communication —the powerful foundation upon which verbal content itself will later be interpreted. Only after that come the literary layers: semantics, syntax, etymology, semiotics and the rest. That part of the story will come later 🙂

’til the Next One!